|
|
 |
|
Jokes Collection
|
|
Three Indian
soldiers, Jai Reddy (Tamil), Joy Bosu (Bengali), and Santa
Singh are captured by Pakistani Army. The Pakistani Corp commander
doesnot
want to have them as POWs and has decided to execute them. They are
asked
what they wish to have for their last meal.
The Reddy asks for a Masala Dosai, which he is served and then taken
away.
The Bosu requests a Machli Bhath, which he is served and also taken
away.
Santa requests Sarson ka saag and Makki di roti. The captors are
surprised
and reply ' Sarson?'
'Yes, Sarson.'
'Arre Sarson to is season mein aati nahin hai!'
'Koi gall nahin. Asee intezaar karanga...'
|
|
|
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and
have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event,
the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner,
she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before,
so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms.
He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist
helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything
there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many
condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.
The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks
he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house
and meets his girlfriend at the door.
"Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents,
come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table
where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers
to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer,
with his head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down,
the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend,
"I had no idea you were this religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back,
"I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."
|
|
|
A man standing in line at the grocery store checkout was surprised when an attractive woman behind him said, "Hello!" Her face was beaming. He gave her a "Who are you?" look, but couldn't remember ever having seen her before. She noticed his look and assumed she had made a mistake. "I'm sorry, but when I first saw you, I thought you were the father of one of my children." She took her change and left the store. The man was dumbfounded. "What's the world coming to? How can a woman not remember who fathered her children?" But then he thought, "Maybe, just maybe, during some wild college party..." so he ran after her and caught her in the parking lot. "Wait a minute. Are you the girl from that college party where we got really drunk and had sex on the pool table in front of everybody?" "No!" she said with a horrified look. "I'm your son's second grade teacher!"
|
|
|
One morning at a doctor's surgery a patient arrives complaining of Serious back pain. The doctor examines him and asks him" OK, what happened to your back?" The patient replies "You know that I work for a local night club? This morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at
him, That's how I strained my back"
|
|
|
Jack
wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's
Christmas party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks
didn't
taste like
alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the
party.
As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
Jack
had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees
is a
couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And,
next to
them, a single red rose!
Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and
pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect
order,
spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the
aspirins, and
cringes
when he sees a huge black eye staring at him in the bathroom mirror.
Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written
in red
with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick!
"Honey,
breakfast is on the stove. I left early to go get groceries to make
your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling!"
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast,
steaming hot coffee, and the morning newspaper. His son is also at
the
table eating.
Jack asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
"Well, you came in at
3:00am
drunk out of your
mind. You fell over the
coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and
got
that black eye when you ran into the door."
Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such
perfect
order, so clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table
waiting for
me?"
His son replies, "OH, THAT!.....Mom dragged you to the bedroom,
and when
she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me
alone, lady,
I'm married!"
|
|
A man is driving up a
steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road.
As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells
"PIG!!!"
The man immediately leans out of his window and replies,
"BITCH!!!"
They each continue on their way, and..... as the man rounds the next
corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road..... and
dies immediately.
If only men would listen.
|
|
|
A
lady calls the police to report her husband is missing. The police
arrive and ask for a description. She tells them he's 6 foot 2
inches tall, blonde wavy hair and has a smile that makes everybody
love him. The police then go to the next-door neighbor to verify
this report and the lady next door tells the police, "You can't
believe her. He's 5 foot 4 inches tall, has no hair and he wears a
perpetual frown on his face." The neighbor then goes and asks
the lady why she gave the police such a false report. She replies,
"Just because I reported him missing, doesn't mean I wanted him
back!"
|
|
There
were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about
the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third
remains quiet.
After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says,
"Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over
your wife?"
The third fellow says "I'll tell you. Just the other night my
wife came to me on her hands and knees."
The first two guys were amazed. "What happened then?" they
asked. "She said, 'get out from under the bed and fight like a
man'."
|
|
|
1 2 3
4
|
|
 |
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
Junk
Zone |
| Once
upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop
programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the
banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those
programs in the Sunday market......... |
|
|
|
|